Lord Patel. A statement

I wish to make it clear that my forthcoming peerage Lord Patel of the Internet is not in any way related to donations to the Labour Party, property owned by Tony Blair and his delightfully fragrant barrister wife or the Mr Tessa Jowell "Get out of Jail Free card fund".

Delays in the official announcement are entirely due to the disputatious staff at Buckingham Palace who point out that The Internet , is not a place, state, terrotory, domain, demesne or part of sovereign territory over which the Queen holds control.

Lord Allenby of Armageddon was ennobled for such a territory and nobody has complained at the time or since.

I note that the decidedly disputatious Dr Chai Patel, Ex Kenya Rangers Football Club, whilst sensiblt refraining from being offered any such Title has bruited it about that loans have been made to the Labour Party.

That anybody would loan that bunch of shits, liars, wife beaters,turds, whelps, running tiger dogs, malcontents, anti-royalists a penny is beyond comprehension.

Redemption would be a fantasy and be rated at Fitch or S&P, Moody's at Treble ZZZ.